*This is satire*
1. Muscles. Muscles are everywhere. Most importantly biceps.
2. There are suddenly a lot of blue-eyed Irish men in America and they are mad AF.
3. Hey, Ladies- All MEN (except the hero who sees you as a person…sometimes) are jerks and want to hurt you. Don’t go anywhere by yourself because you might be sexually assaulted.
4. Losing is not an option. I mean unless it leads to angst or character development or a redemption arc and being even more winning-er later.
5. Women don’t swear. It’s only men because they are bad boys. Because duh.
6. And sometimes by bad boy we really just mean “sleeps with lots of other women”–but it’s cool because its consensual. But don’t you dare have sexual agency, ladies !
7.Your man will have lots of bruises he won’t explain to you, but you think it’s kind of hot ?
8. Nicknames are badass AF. Torment. The Wolf. Hurricane.Savage. In fact real names are also probably badass AF. Killian. Aiden. Ryland… and also always Irish ? See #2.
9. Professional Female fighters can only exist if they are validated by male coaches or other male fighters. And they always have to work harder to be seen as equal–oh, this may be real life.
10. That guy you’re dating has a dark past. And sometimes it means he’s killed people and got away with it, but you’re okay with it. Statute of limitations, amirite ?